Modesty: does it even exist anymore?

I’ve always been a modest person. I don’t usually wear low cut clothes to work or even around town. Probably the lowest cut items I own are my workout clothes.


So, I bring this topic up because last week at Ally’s 7th grade “meet the teacher” night I was appalled at the way some of the mother’s were dressed. I saw leather, stiletto heels and very, very low cut dresses. Let me tell you that I saw some things that only a woman’s husband should be seeing. It’s nice to dress up and go out with friends or your spouse and maybe you would wear something you wouldn’t normally wear but to meet your kids teacher?

Modesty doesn’t have to mean frumpy and old. It just means it covers you and looks nice. Doesn’t make other men gawk and stare or make women think something they shouldn’t think about you. I love clothes and I love to buy clothes and have new clothes. But, I’m very picky about what I buy. And everything I buy may not be the latest fashion but if I’m comfortable in it, then it’s what I buy.

1 Tim 2:9

Biblical or not, there’s just something indecent about the way our society is dressing these days. There’s such a thing as common courtesy, or there used to be. And by courtesy I mean, I should not be subject to seeing your lady parts or underwear (men included) while I’m eating dinner or shopping with my daughter.

I don’t think the above scripture means not to wear jewelry or nice clothes. I take it to mean don’t make it my sole focus. It’s ok to dress nice for your spouse, it’s ok to not want to look like a slob every time you leave the house. But when you look in the mirror and you think wow, my (blank) looks great in these jeans or you pick the lowest cut, skimpiest dress you can find to wear to Target (or to meet the teacher) then there’s the issue. I actually like to dress nice for my hubby, I want him to notice. I do not want other men to notice. So that means making choices that don’t attract unwanted attention.

I’ve noticed Ally is pretty much like me in her clothing choices. She asked for her first 2 piece swim suit this year and I indulged her, the top is still pretty modest compared to a lot of the choices lately. It’s getting harder to buy her clothes that don’t look to old for her. She’s too tall for the kids section, she does not like the clothes at Justice anymore, and some of the junior section choices leave little to the imagination. She’s so tall that even the dresses and skirts that would normally be ok are too short for her.

How in this day and age do we teach our daughters to dress and act modestly?

First, we teach by example. If I’m not dressing modest then my daughter won’t either. She won’t know any better.

Second, we tell them. In our home, we use Biblical examples and verses. We tell her what we approve of and don’t, then we tell her what the Bible says. This gets reinforced at church.

Third, don’t buy those clothes. If you don’t buy it, you can’t wear it and neither can your daughters.

It seems to be a hot topic among women. I posted the comment after meet the teacher and lots of my friends had comments on the subject.

How do you feel about modesty?

Is it important to you?

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10 comments to Modesty: does it even exist anymore?

  1. Amy Holland says:

    I’m with you! We don’t have children (yet), but my husband and I are continually appalled at the clothing that we see young children wearing. Someone buys those for them, and I just have a hard time believing that a parent is ok with their children walking around in short shorts (girls), or crass t-shirts (buys). Dressing by example is important. You absolutely can be fun and stylish in your clothing choices, while maintaing a classic and appropriate look.

    • I like “classic and appropriate”. It works. There are appropriate clothes for the gym, for church, for work, (for meet the teacher) and for nights out on the town. Those lines are getting blurred. 🙂

  2. MS_AimeeC says:

    So with you here! I frequently run from workout to school pick-up or workout while my son is at youth sport practice, but I still throw on a top or running skirt over my body so that I’m a little more modestly covered. I think it would embarrass my kids if I wasn’t a little more covered.

    I noticed at their school and their sports that parents are either dressed for bed (really, why are you wearing pajamas in public) or dressed for a night out. This is not ok.

  3. Michelle says:

    Meh, there’s dressing modestly and then here’s slut shaming others in the name of modesty. Its a fine line.

    For me, I should be able to dress however I please and other people should be able to control their own reactions. Like, if a grown man is gawking over boobies, then I think he has bigger problems that he needs to work out.

  4. Yes, I totally agree with you on this. I can’t believe some of the outfits that parents are allowing their teenage daughters to wear out of the house these days. But the moms are wearing some of the same things, so it’s not too surprising that they would let their kids do it. Shorts that are so short that their cheeks are showing? That is beyond unacceptable attire.

    It drives me nuts to see people like Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, etc. performing in skimpy outfits and dancing provocativally on stage. Some teenage girls look up to them and think they need to try to look and be like that. That is why parents have to be involved, be an example and set limits for them. Glad to see that you are setting a biblical example for your daughter!

  5. Nikki B says:

    My daughters and I discuss this a lot. I always wonder what’s left for the hookers to wear if I am being honest.

  6. spqnancy says:

    One of the worst offenses is wearing leggings with short tops that show everything. It doesn’t matter if you are thin or not so thin, even Cindy Crawford would not look good in that attire. Unfortunately, I have even seen women wear low cut dresses to church. What are they thinking?

Tell me what you think!